I might be Fat but I’m not Dumb

Posted by Irresponsibility

…At least that’s what I would say if some snake-oil salesperson told me that, hey, if I want to lose a little weight all I need to do is cajole my health insurance into shelling out twenty grand and then hie myself to the hospital to be sliced open and have a choke-collar wrapped around my stomach.

The Lap-Band

California-based pharmaceutical company Allergan, however, hopes I’m an exception. They manufacturer the Lap-Band — the silicone bit they stick in your stomach. They’re petitioning the Food & Drug Administration to lower the weight threshold for gastric band surgery so they can capitalise on their 70% market share for the device. This, despite the fact that: “some older studies suggest that up to a third of patients eventually have the band removed because of side effects or ineffective weight loss” and 1-in-a-1000 patients die within 30 days of surgery.

Given those odds, and the fact that — band or no band — the only way you can lose weight is by eating less you’d think these jokers would be laughed out of town. But no, this is America. Land of Supersizing and a dozen flavours of M&Ms. Where you are free to eat until you’re too bloated to function then pay some mercenary to mutilate your internal organs in an attempt to shrink back to human size. Only, if Allergan has its way, you won’t have to wait that long! If you are slightly overweight and discontent you, too, can join the vivisection volunteers. How’s that for the pursuit of happiness?

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