Posted by Irresponsibility
Ye gods. From ‘Confide In Tracey’, Closer’s problem page hosted by the too-pertinently named Tracey Cox. A 19-year-old virgin writes: “When my boyfriend put two of his fingers inside my vagina, it hurt, although I pretended to enjoy it.”
I’m not a ‘sexpert’ but I don’t think Tracey’s chirpy injunction to ‘next time, use lubrication’ addresses the real problem.
What Cox should have said was: DON’T FUCKING PRETEND TO ENJOY STUFF THAT HURTS, ESPECIALLY IN BED. It shouldn’t need spelling out but, clearly, it does: sex is supposed to be FUN. It’s supposed to feel amazing. It’s supposed to leave you smug and happy and wobbly-legged; not wasting your time writing heart-rending letters to rubbish women’s mag advice columnists.
Apparently, it’s women’s godgiven duty to look sex-ay at all times without any attendent right to actually enjoy sex.
Fuck that. The only advice any woman needs about sex is this: don’t do it unless you really, really wanna. Don’t do it because he wants to, or because you crave security, or because you think you should, or because everyone else is doing it, or because he bought you dinner/a diamond ring/a house, or because you think it’ll make you feel closer.
Companionship, romance, security, affection and care are fundamental human needs. But don’t expect sex to provide them. That stuff needs to be sorted outside of the bedroom so when you get there all the only thing left to do is have fun.
|StumbleUpon||Technorati||Yahoo! My Web|