God bless America: Land of the free and home of the uptight. The only ostensibly liberated nation on earth where grown-ups still work themselves into a lather over exposed flesh, thus generating headlines like this beauty: Nude beach evokes cries for coverup.
During the summer a few nudists hang out by Lake Willoughby, a picturesque sunspot in deepest Vermont. No where in the civilised world would this be an issue… except the good old freedom-loving US of A where, apparently, you’re entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness only as long as your genitalia is properly sequestered from view.
Among the 319 permanent residents of the nearby town of Westmore there is a sufficient level of outrage that a petition is going around to demand the town council enforce a ban on bits. The aptly named Tony Strange huffs: “It’s about common public decency…You want to be naked in private, fine. …I just don’t want you to prance around like a puffed up chicken in front of my kids” – which calls to mind all sorts of weird and fascinating questions about Mr Strange’s views on chickens and/or human anatomy.
Better still the po-faced comment that, “some Westmore residents want to be able to use the beach without having to worry they or their kids will confront a naked person.” Dear sweet Lord above. Preserve any human being – adult or child – from the mind-bendingly awful sight of another person, nude. Do these people realise how much they sound like the fucking Taliban?